It’s a normal day in your home. Juggling schedules, packing lunches, overseeing homework and chores, preparing messages, visitations, picking Billy up from school to get him to practice on time, stopping to eat something, carving out time to reflect, pray, exhale. Adjusting from married with no children to married with two, three, four. What had you envisioned parenting to look like? Has there been anything that has surprised you? In fact, what hasn’t surprised you!
There is something about a Canadian spring that makes me want to garden. After a long, cold, restricting winter, it’s hard to resist the beautiful colours of the annuals on display at the store or the fresh green blades of grass as they burst forth all around my yard. This rush of excitement and euphoria must be carefully thought through, though. You see, planting in spring means nurturing, weeding and tending all summer long if I want a garden that brings me delight. Similarly, marriage usually starts with lots of excitement and warm sentiments toward a spouse in those honeymoon years or months, but a marriage that is not nurtured and prioritized soon becomes a chore we cannot easily get out of without hurting the ones we love.
My mum has always said, “We were called; they were drafted.”
Raised by full-time missionaries, my brothers and I grew up knowing that my parents had been called by God to the life we lived in Quito, Ecuador. I, however, certainly felt drafted! It was not my choice to leave my beloved grandparents in Canada for the mountains of Ecuador. I did not feel “called” to live in a house with bars on the windows, nor did I choose to endure earthquakes, military coups or tear gas drills at school. And I certainly did not feel “called” to live with lizards in my bed or scorpions in the bathroom!
Most of my memories from childhood involve waiting around an empty church. Since I was too young to be left at home, I would often be dragged there to sit around, probably playing Pokémon on the original grey brick Gameboy, while my dad prepared for a service or event.
I’m what many in the church refer to as a “pastor’s wife.” I haven’t always been one. I gained this title or label almost nine years ago when my husband, David, accepted his first pastoral position as associate pastor of our church. Up until then, we both had careers but were very involved in lay ministry together.
The Christmas season is upon us and I would like to share some stories about a blending of traditions in our home.
A few days ago, I enjoyed lunch out with a friend after a Sunday worship service. My friend is a pastor. She is a woman. She is also single. Not surprisingly, as we talked about our lives and friendship, elements of these three life circumstances – single, woman, in ministry – appeared again and again. Since then, I’ve been thinking a lot about singles and ministry. Read more
Dear pastor-husband,
As wives, we do understand that there are inopportune moments when you will be needed. But, not everything is critical. Use discernment and wisdom. A prayer meeting can be postponed or even better, someone else can lead it when your son is in the final game of the season. Read more
“You never listen to me!” The words came choking out through Andrea’s tears. I suddenly felt off balance. What was happening here? I’d been Andrea’s dad for 15 years and a psychiatrist for eight. I was a professional listener trained in reading nonverbal signals, hearing between the lines, giving undivided attention and offering empathetic responses. Read more
At the end of a recent counselling session, a client told me that her pastor is on leave from the church ministry. I was thinking the pastor must be on some sort of medical leave, but my client further informed me that her pastor was involved in an affair with a ministry worker from another congregation. My heart sank when I heard the news, and I was angry because the evil one has once again successfully brought down a servant of God who appeared to have a vibrant ministry. Read more