Most of my memories from childhood involve waiting around an empty church. Since I was too young to be left at home, I would often be dragged there to sit around, probably playing Pokémon on the original grey brick Gameboy, while my dad prepared for a service or event.
I’m what many in the church refer to as a “pastor’s wife.” I haven’t always been one. I gained this title or label almost nine years ago when my husband, David, accepted his first pastoral position as associate pastor of our church. Up until then, we both had careers but were very involved in lay ministry together.
The Christmas season is upon us and I would like to share some stories about a blending of traditions in our home.
A few days ago, I enjoyed lunch out with a friend after a Sunday worship service. My friend is a pastor. She is a woman. She is also single. Not surprisingly, as we talked about our lives and friendship, elements of these three life circumstances – single, woman, in ministry – appeared again and again. Since then, I’ve been thinking a lot about singles and ministry. Read more
Dear pastor-husband,
As wives, we do understand that there are inopportune moments when you will be needed. But, not everything is critical. Use discernment and wisdom. A prayer meeting can be postponed or even better, someone else can lead it when your son is in the final game of the season. Read more
“You never listen to me!” The words came choking out through Andrea’s tears. I suddenly felt off balance. What was happening here? I’d been Andrea’s dad for 15 years and a psychiatrist for eight. I was a professional listener trained in reading nonverbal signals, hearing between the lines, giving undivided attention and offering empathetic responses. Read more
At the end of a recent counselling session, a client told me that her pastor is on leave from the church ministry. I was thinking the pastor must be on some sort of medical leave, but my client further informed me that her pastor was involved in an affair with a ministry worker from another congregation. My heart sank when I heard the news, and I was angry because the evil one has once again successfully brought down a servant of God who appeared to have a vibrant ministry. Read more
The day of our ninth anniversary was a much-anticipated milestone. It had been almost three years since I had contacted Focus on the Family Canada for advice on how to stop my husband, Don, from looking at Internet porn. Read more
As a pastor’s kid (PK), hitting my teenage years meant learning to live a dual life: my Christian life, which was pleasing to my parents and my church, and my high school life, which was pleasing to me. My greatest goal was, “May the two never meet.” Of course, neither life – one of hypocrisy and one of blatant sin – was pleasing to God. I did, however, emerge out of those troubling years and went on to follow Jesus Christ as Lord, become a pastor and eventually raise four PKs who live out a Biblical, Christian world view. I determined early on that, if at all possible, I would not repeat history with my kids. Read more
Pastor Peter Scazzero, author of Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, shares a powerful mantra: “As goes the leader’s marriage, so goes the church.” That is at once both awe-inspiring and immensely frightening. Read more