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Solo servant leadership: Single and in ministry

A few days ago, I enjoyed lunch out with a friend after a Sunday worship service. My friend is a pastor. She is a woman. She is also single. Not surprisingly, as we talked about our lives and friendship, elements of these three life circumstances – single, woman, in ministry – appeared again and again. Since then, I’ve been thinking a lot about singles and ministry. Read more

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A message to pastor husbands from a pastor’s wife

Dear pastor-husband,

As wives, we do understand that there are inopportune moments when you will be needed. But, not everything is critical. Use discernment and wisdom. A prayer meeting can be postponed or even better, someone else can lead it when your son is in the final game of the season. Read more

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Hello, anybody home?

How to listen to your family, even when you don’t feel like it

“You never listen to me!” The words came choking out through Andrea’s tears. I suddenly felt off balance. What was happening here? I’d been Andrea’s dad for 15 years and a psychiatrist for eight. I was a professional listener trained in reading nonverbal signals, hearing between the lines, giving undivided attention and offering empathetic responses. Read more

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How to affair-proof your marriage and protect ministry relationships

At the end of a recent counselling session, a client told me that her pastor is on leave from the church ministry. I was thinking the pastor must be on some sort of medical leave, but my client further informed me that her pastor was involved in an affair with a ministry worker from another congregation. My heart sank when I heard the news, and I was angry because the evil one has once again successfully brought down a servant of God who appeared to have a vibrant ministry. Read more

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Our battle for a porn-free marriage

The day of our ninth anniversary was a much-anticipated milestone. It had been almost three years since I had contacted Focus on the Family Canada for advice on how to stop my husband, Don, from looking at Internet porn. Read more

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Parenting with a biblical world view

As a pastor’s kid (PK), hitting my teenage years meant learning to live a dual life: my Christian life, which was pleasing to my parents and my church, and my high school life, which was pleasing to me. My greatest goal was, “May the two never meet.” Of course, neither life – one of hypocrisy and one of blatant sin – was pleasing to God. I did, however, emerge out of those troubling years and went on to follow Jesus Christ as Lord, become a pastor and eventually raise four PKs who live out a Biblical, Christian world view. I determined early on that, if at all possible, I would not repeat history with my kids. Read more

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Boundaries in marriage

Pastor Peter Scazzero, author of Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, shares a powerful mantra: “As goes the leader’s marriage, so goes the church.” That is at once both awe-inspiring and immensely frightening. Read more

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When the pastor has a prodigal

I heard someone jokingly say that there’s a great likelihood that the child of a teacher will become a dropout, the child of a police officer will become a delinquent, and the child of a pastor will become an atheist. But is that really true? Read more

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Stress can make your marriage vulnerable

You’ve probably heard similar stories on the news or on the grapevine: A seasoned pastor has an affair; a ministry leader leaves her husband for another man. How do some men and women in ministry end up in adulterous relationships? Read more

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Pastors parenting preacher’s kids

Like many of you, I have parented differently than my parents did, both as a parent, and as a pastor. Today, family relationships require so much more than the previous generation. The conforming pressure has been cranked up to the red zone, as the lure of temptation is huge, and the evil one continues like a roaring lion looking for whom he can devour. Our children need us more than ever . . . especially “PKs” (Preacher’s Kids). Read more