Life’s funny, isn’t it? I always assumed the most important lessons I’d learn about being a pastor’s wife would be in seminary, or sitting at the feet of an older, wiser pastor’s wife. But I’ve discovered if you keep your eyes open, life will teach you all kinds of lessons in the most unexpected ways.
So, here are five lessons I’ve learned on the back of our Harley Davidson:
I have always loved the Christmas story, and with a name like Merrie and being the pastor’s kid, I was a shoo-in for the Lord’s mother in more nativity scenes than I can remember! It was a time of childlike wonder for me.
I served as a pastor’s wife for 27 years. During that tenure, there was a time where I had to navigate my way through a season of conflict. I am pretty confident when I say that everyone has had to deal with conflict. It may be to varying degrees and intensity, but we all have those times when we disagree or clash with someone over something and we must have difficult conversations to work things out.
For the most part, conflict involves at least two people. There is another dynamic, though, that I call “second-degree conflict.” Maybe this term does not immediately make sense so allow me to clarify.
Sabbaticals for those in pastoral ministry are not a new concept. They have been embraced by many and everyone who has done one has a unique experience to tell. Whether the focus was on study, rest or a combination, the books and articles available to help in preparation for such a time has one thing in common: they all approach sabbaticals from the perspective of the person taking it.
I am not setting out to defend the benefits of a Sabbatical. Nor am I trying to suggest that a sabbatical should be done in a particular way. I am curious, however, to find out where a pastor’s spouse fits into the picture when it comes time for a pastor to take that long-awaited break. Read more
A pastor’s wife shares her candid fears and constructive advice about weathering the storms of ministry. Read more
Did you know that many women in Canada are diagnosed with clinical depression at least once in their lifetime? In fact, psychologists say depression is the common cold of mental illness. Women who are most susceptible to depression include those who are urban dwellers, mothers of young children, under continual stress, and living with financial burdens. As a pastor’s wife, need I ask if any of these risk factors apply to you? Read more
I admit it. I’m a bit of a perfectionist. Actually, I’m one-third over achiever, one-third spotlight hog, and one-third control freak. That adds up to one heck of a pastor’s wife. Read more
There hasn’t been a time I felt more judged than during my husband’s candidating process. As congregation members fired off questions and concerns, I couldn’t help feeling inspected and on display. After Sunday services, I would go home exhausted because I was so careful to monitor my every word and facial expression. My first few weeks as a youth pastor’s wife were draining. Read more
Marlene* has been married to Lorne for over 20 years. Throughout their marriage, her husband has served in various ministry capacities as an associate pastor, senior pastor and church planter. They have worked in small- to large-sized churches in western Canada and have served with three different denominations.
Marlene and Lorne have two sons. As a pastor’s wife, Marlene has always worked outside the home in order to help support the family.
Marlene generously offered to share her experience as a working pastor’s wife and a mom. Read more
On March 22, 2006, Mary Winkler, a pastor’s wife, shot and killed her husband in their Tennessee home. Matthew Winkler’s congregation loved him. They claimed Mary was a good mother and supportive wife. Her motivation for the murder remains unknown. Winkler’s attorney told one television station, “I think the accumulations of the pressures of life in and of itself certainly would have some factor in the case.” Read more