Kindness is the oil that takes the friction out of life
Near the end of May while simply pulling rhubarb in my back yard – as I had many times before – I strained my back. I went to get medical attention for it but between the passing of my mother-in-law, a visit from our youngest daughter and her family from England, and a full season of wonderful family activities, the pace did not allow for much healing.
Although I recovered from the pain, I did not realize the impact of how extended sitting at our next retreat would affect me. Just a couple of days after returning home, I developed symptoms of sciatica. After more medical attention over the next two weeks, we headed back to the retreat again.
It was here that I experienced genuine kindness from some of our guests. I needed to stand more than sit and to change my position frequently, and their own experience with sciatica and pain and various health challenges caused them to be empathetic and very kind towards me. They would often encourage me with reminders to change my position or to walk, they frequently checked on how I was doing. One couple even loaned me a massage gun to use, and they all prayed for me.
There are times in all our lives when we need kindness, and when we have been recipients of other people’s care it encourages us to extend kindness to others when they need it.
“But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.” Ephesians 2:4-7
When we have been recipients of God’s great kindness towards us, and recognize what he has done for us, he desires us to extend that kindness to others.
Kindness is goodness in action, sweetness in disposition, and the ability to act for the welfare of those taxing your patience.
Certainly, our Heavenly Father has demonstrated this in his lovingkindness for his people. As pastors, we are often challenged to extend kindness to people who are difficult, rude, or simply unaware of the impact of their words and/or actions.
Kindness is a fruit of the Spirit in our lives that is developed through an intimate daily walk with Jesus. Every day, we need to yield to the Holy Spirit and allow him to direct our words, attitudes, and actions, so that we can show his kindness in all our relationships. Just like oil helps to lubricate moving parts in a machine, kindness is the oil that takes the friction out of life. Kindness can indeed remove much of the tension in our interactions with others and open the door for God to work in all our lives.
This past week, I read a post by a friend that I feel is applicable to our topic.
The question was asked, “Why is it so important to be kind?”
The answer given, “Because we walk past hundreds of people every day and none of them wear signs that say, ‘I am grieving,’ ‘I am exhausted,’ or ‘I am barely holding it together,’ but they are everywhere.” Kindness may be the only softness they receive today.
So, our challenge as ministry leaders is to keep our heart soft when we do not understand other people’s actions or reactions, and endeavor to ask questions rather than judge or make accusations, without understanding their story.
Kindness is being moved by compassion like Jesus, not ignoring the needs around us, by offering mercy, instead of judgment, and by extending forgiveness, rather than holding offence. For this we desperately need the fruit of the Spirit of kindness to be developed in our lives.
Beth Fleming and her husband, Steve, are the program directors at our Ontario Kerith Retreats location. For more information about our retreats, visit KerithRetreats.ca.