Self-control: Checking the state of your walls
With up to 31 days in a month and the book of Proverbs containing 31 chapters, it’s the perfect pairing for daily reading. We all need God’s wisdom and Proverbs fittingly offers a chapter a day, month to month, from which to draw out wisdom. On my previous month’s cycle through Proverbs, this one jumped out at me:
“A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” (Proverbs 25:28)
Here are a few observations from this verse:
- We have walls around us that are meant to protect us.
- Outside forces try to break through these walls to make us vulnerable.
- Self-control is a blessing of protection to be cherished rather than a boundary to be tested.
On further reflection about the purpose of walls, two opposing perspectives come to mind:
- Being inside walls is good since they provide protection, and I should be grateful.
- Being inside walls is restrictive and I need to find a way out or else invite in outside influences.
Are walls restrictive and limiting, or are they protective and comforting? The short answer is yes. In both cases a person sees the walls, but depending on one’s perspective, the walls are either an occasion for thanksgiving or resentment. We either embrace them, live within the confines, and reap the good fruit stemming from how God has arranged things, or we look for ways to break out or to allow something else to break in as a means of experiencing what else is out there.
Secular society views boundaries (walls) as limits to be challenged, crossed, expanded, or destroyed. It believes there’s more to be discovered out there and we’ll be better off when we find it, but that’s exactly the belief that led Adam and Eve to sin in the first place. They had all they could ever need or desire, and yet Satan told them there’s more to discover beyond the boundaries set by God. Satan deceptively claimed that eating the forbidden fruit would enhance Adam and Eve’s lives, making them “be like God, knowing good and evil” (Genesis 3:5).
That moment of doubt was an example of broken walls. Adam and Eve allowed an outside source (Satan) into their inner sanctuary, and he soon wreaked havoc which resulted in their discovery of more (nakedness, shame, blame, brokenness, fear, and so on). In short order, they were exiled from the safe confines of the garden with no possibility of return.
As you reflect on the proverb mentioned above, ask the questions, “Where am I vulnerable to external forces? What are the areas of brokenness that have made me susceptible to harmful influence?” Asked another way, “Where do I lack self-control in regard to my current rhythms, relationships, and resources?”
A review of your recent practices or postures can provide valuable insight into how you’re living in relation to your walls. Take a moment to do a quick assessment and write down how often or how many minutes or hours you spend engaging in solo activities: (e.g. doom scrolling, binge watching, digital window shopping). Now compare that to the amount of time you dedicate to reading Scripture, prayer, and worshipping God.
How are you doing in your relationships with others? Are you seeking time with supportive friends, attending Church services on a weekly basis, and engaging in social gatherings? Or are you turtling away and staying isolated in your home, at the office, or glued to a device?
One thing I’ve noticed throughout my life is the more I isolate, or the longer I run without rest, the more pressure I feel on my walls as external (negative) influences are on the verge of breaching and flooding in. I have found that the best supports to strengthening our self-control are Scripture, church community, and walking through trials with the wisdom and support of those two resources.
God’s Word equips us, the church spurs us on, and when we’re faced with moments of broken walls, we have the tools, support, and wisdom to overcome whatever temptations or ploys the enemy is throwing at us.
If you are feeling weak, vulnerable, and struggling with self-control, then it’s time to check the state of your walls.
Steve Klassen is Executive Director of Kerith Retreats at Focus on the Family Canada. For more information about our retreats, visit KerithRetreats.ca.